One of the biggest problems faced by women in relationships is getting their man to commit.
In his best-selling book, His Secret Obsession, relationship expert James Bauer claims to have solved it for you.
By helping you trigger his hero instinct.
If you haven’t come across the hero instinct yet, it’s a new concept in relationship psychology that’s generating a lot of buzz at the moment.
Like any self-respecting relationship geek, I wanted to see whether the book lives up to the hype. So I decided to buy it and give you my honest thoughts.
What does a 32 year old man who writes about psychology for a living think about the hero instinct? Is His Secret Obsession worth your time and money?
But how good is this book? Does it work? And should you buy it?
To help you make that decision, I bought the book and read the whole thing. And in this review I’ll give you my honest thoughts on whether or not you should read it too.
Spoiler alert: His Secret Obsession is fantastic, but it’s probably not suitable for every woman.
What is His Secret Obsession?
His Secret Obsession tackles 3 big relationship issues:
• Why men lose interest in a woman after the initial attraction wears off
• Why men are reluctant to commit long term, even when the early signs of relationship are so promising
• Why men pull away suddenly and stop communicating with their partners.
James Bauer claims that men have instinctive needs when it comes to relationships, even if they are not consciously aware of them. He calls it the hero instincts.
What the hero instinct boils down to is that men want to live meaningful lives and be appreciated for their efforts.
In short, men want to be an everyday hero (rather than a Thor-style hero). More importantly, they want to be a hero to the woman they’re in a relationship with.
The kicker is that it’s actually up to women to bring the hero instinct to the fore.
Because a man will be drawn to any woman who makes him feel like a hero and will be reluctant to commit when he doesn’t.
According to James Bauer, triggering the hero instinct will help you to:
• Get your man to commit to you and gain his love and devotion over the long term
• Strengthen the bond you already have, no matter how cold and distant he’s become
• If you’ve been through a break up, rekindle his interest in you and get him to chase you again.
These are bold claims.
Before I delve deeper into them, it’s important to learn something about the author making them…
Who is James Bauer?
James Bauer is a bestselling author and popular relationship coach.
He got his start as a trained psychologist and later became a professional relationship coach. For the past 12 years, he’s worked with thousands of men and women to help strengthen their relationships.
By carefully studying their cases, James Bauer discovered what he believes is the secret to deep, passionate and long lasting relationships: the hero instinct.
His approach is based on his own personal experience as a therapist and his research into human psychology.
James distilled all of this knowledge into his most recent book, His Secret Obsession.
Although I’m very familiar with James Bauer, I couldn’t find any good sources of information about His Secret Obsession. All I knew was the book was receiving a lot of hype and that it’s supposed to tap into male psychology to reveal what we really want from a relationship.
So, I read the book myself from cover to cover and decided to give my verdict on it here.